


No Choice in Freedom

by vilnolin



Series: X5REVISED [7]
Category: Dark Angel
Genre: F/M, x5revised
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-11
Updated: 2010-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-29 00:28:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vilnolin/pseuds/vilnolin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We don't have a choice anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Choice in Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Violence, war, character death  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel. I don't own the lyrics either.  
>   
> reformat/edit: 23.7.14

  
  
            Logically, Max knew this entire problem started back in Manticore. There was no other explanation for it. _Someone_  in the government had finally realized that it was getting out that the ‘freaks’ were Air Force issue, had realized that public opinion of these transgenics was heading south again thanks to conspiracy theorists and strangely, supposed ‘alien abductees’. In her hand she was actually holding a magazine with a picture of her and the highest ranking officers in Terminal City (taken as a press courtesy for Sketchy), that dubbed them ‘hybrids, of human and alien genetics’. It would have made her laugh—the  _X-Files_ joke alone was so bad it was funny—but there was a strange feel to the air. Like something was coming.  
            There was a noise—loud to her overly sensitive ears—and she was thrown off her feet, crashing to the floor a lot harder then she would have expected. She must have yelled; her throat felt rough, but no one was coming. And as the dust settled, she realized why; her ceiling had caved it, with fire spreading from the impact crater in the roof. Her ears were ringing too much to let her hear anything besides her heart beat. Just barely, she could make out the red fin of an _Excalibur_  class missile. Which meant (if she remembered Alec, Mole and Felix’s lectures on weaponry), she had exactly half a minute to clear the room or have the three exploding heads literally blow her to pieces.  
            Immediately, she pulled at her legs, shocked to find them pinned under the collapsed ceiling. She couldn’t feel them—only now that she was visually assessing the damage did she start feeling phantom pins and needles. That was not a good sign. Forcing herself calm, she took a deep breath, shoved herself to a sitting position, and _pushed_  at the rubble. That caused searing pain across her legs as concrete and insulation dragged against sensitive and injured skin. She grimaced a smile; feeling, however crummy, was a good sign. However, the countdown in her head said that she wasn’t making this out in one piece; there was no way she could get the rubble off and make it to the door.  
            She couldn’t help the panicked scream that escaped her lips, despite focusing all of her energy at shoving the damned ceiling off her calves. And then suddenly it was gone, and she heard something vaguely over the ringing in her ears; a voice. It was asking if she could move. Blindly she shook her head, and then was promptly lifted into strong arms. The pain was excruciating, but she was aware of being blurred out of the room, and literally being thrown to someone as the missile exploded into the room behind her. The ringing in her ears was drowning out everything, and she could feel something dripping from one; putting pressure on the side of her head, she realized she had blown out an eardrum.  
            The man who had rescued her was on the ground, letting two other transgenics pat out the fires clinging to his jeans. The arms that had caught her tightened around her, carefully avoiding her legs more then to stabilize her against his chest.  It was so dusty, she couldn’t scent, she could barely see, and she was deaf from the concussive force of the missile. Vaguely, she wondered how the others were even operating. Suddenly, there was a hand on her face, pulling it in the direction of her rescuer. He was off the ground, and staring her in the face, saying something—Felix was always good at making himself heard, but this time it was futile. She tried to convey it by pointing to her ear, but someone was already brushing the blood away with one hand, and she felt the rumbling in the chest of the man who was holding her.  
            Felix’s face fell, and then he pointed to his hands before signing,  _Are you alright? Anything besides your legs hurting?_  
            Max shook her head ‘no’, glancing upwards. Alec was holding her, looking down at her legs with an expression that she couldn’t read. She wasn’t sure she wanted to.  
            Felix tugged on her arm, and she looked back towards his hands,  _You do know that was one of ours?_  She assumed he meant the missile. She shook her head again and Felix looked as if he sighed.  _It’s American, Max. Our own country sent their top missile to shoot at US._    
            She stared at him, uncomprehending that they could do such a thing. Yeah, things had been strained, but just yesterday, the American Ambassador had expressed feelings towards a new, and better, peace between their peoples.   
            “The ambassador is a lying prick.” Felix said, as he signed it. Max stared at him, and he sighed, sharing a look with Alec while signing  _You said that the Ambassador was here yesterday talking of peace._  
            Well, scratch one internal monologue.  
            Alec freed one hand from her, and used it to sign, making sure she could see:  _We have no choice but to go to battle stations. And you’re going to the med lab._  
            She had never moved so fast in her life, which was slightly ironic as the vague feeling she had in her legs had dissipated already. And she was starting to miss the pain. But Alec didn’t slow down; he was blurring at the top of his capacity to get her to the med lab. He was swerving a lot too, and coming to sudden stops. He had tucked her head against his chest before taking off at one point, she was pretty sure it was when he had stepped out of headquarters.  
            It scared her; her inability to hear was frankly more freakish then the fact she couldn’t feel her legs; that she could ignore. The deafness was just too much. She could feel herself whimper, and felt Alec’s arms tighten around her. She felt her fear lessoning; it always did when he was close. But the sudden idea of losing her mate so soon, of leaving him after the scant years they had together held her frozen, unable to move even to abate her curiosity at what was going on around her.  
            She could feel him take a breath, calling out something she only felt through the rumbling of his chest. She wanted to imagine he said “It will be ok,” or, “I love you”; but the rumble was longer, and he took several breaths, which meant there was conversation. The idea of someone taking the time to stop in what she imagined was an air-raid was insane, something which she was about to vocalize, really and truly. But, when she risked a glance towards Alec’s face, she saw only the soldier 494 there. What was more terrifying was that  _he_  looked nervous. She attempted to crane her neck, but Alec’s hand was pushing her against his chest, and he was dropping to a crouch. The entire experience of being carried was strange, and the fact he was now  _ducking_ was making her feel even more helpless. “Alec!” She forced her throat to make the sound, hoping she would be heard over whatever noise she couldn’t.  
            He winced—obviously he heard her—and she felt his chest rumble with his answer. Now if only he would remember she  _couldn’t hear_ —Something impacted her side, despite Alec’s attempts to shield her. The way he fell, she realized she had probably been hit by secondary shrapnel; whether it hit Alec or the ground she was unsure. Alec shifted under her, fixing his grip on her and answering her unspoken question. He grumbled something again—the sound felt fainter against her face—and Max realized she felt ill. Nauseas even.  
            She struggled a hand free, and gently patted at the spot where she felt something hit her. The fabric of her shirt was wet and warm and sticky. That meant something, but Max couldn’t remember what. In fact, she couldn’t remember why she was being cradled like an infant either. In another half a minute, Max couldn’t remember how to keep her eyes open.  
  


_***_

  
  
            Alec paced outside the med lab for a whole minute before he shoved the surgical doors open, prompting two large and burly transhumans to appear behind him, both reaching for his arms. He sent a snarl over his shoulder, and the two stepped back, looking unsure. The head surgeon—an X4 of the blood transfusion variety, named Lymph—was already moving away from Max, his latex gloves stained with old and new blood. “X5R-494, you know this is a sterile environment and you have to  _wait outside_.” Alec didn’t move. “ _Someone_  should be organizing a counter attack, or helping find more wounded at the least.”  
            This snarl was directed mostly at himself, but two of the nurses instinctively bobbed their heads down in a gesture of submission. Alec ignored them, shoving past the two transhumans that had tried to prevent his entrance and stalked down the hall towards the entrance. As much as he wanted ( _needed_ ) to be with Max, he knew where his place would have to be. With yet another snarl, he ripped his walkie off his belt and snapped it to the command level frequency.  
            “This is 494. All available command level officers report to the nursery  _yesterday_ , Over.” He lowered the walkie, forcing himself to follow the instincts of the soldier, not the mate.  
            “Copy, 494. This is 496 and already there, Over.”  
            “Copy that. This is 734, on my way, Over.”  
            Two confirms was as much as he could wait for, and he took off with a rush. He vaguely heard his radio buzz more, but he ignored it, running with every ounce of speed he could muster. He hit the door of the nursery in under thirty seconds, ripping it open and taking a quick head count. In the entry way, there was a small group of X series and some transhumans, all armed and looking much more at ease now that someone from command had showed up. He gave them a nod and moved in towards the reinforced play area; transgenic females were generally paranoid about where they left their cubs, and Alec hadn’t figured it was a good idea to fight them on that point. Also, it made for a very convenient secondary bomb shelter.  
            Once inside the heavy door, he was immediately grabbed around the ankles, as several transgenic children instinctively ran towards their pack leader. Alec made sure to give each a reassuring smile before pulling through the pile (taking several of them along, as they refused to detach themselves from his legs), and headed towards the three largest figures in the room.  Gem was cradling Eve against her side—the first free-born X was looking terrified at the noise from outside. Keegan was standing next to her, clutching the infant Chloe to her chest with one arm and field stripping her sniper rifle with the other. Felix looked like he had no idea why he was there; Alec knew it was because his mate and child were in danger. It was half funny how they could never recognize it in themselves…  
            “Finally. Max ok?” Keegan, with her typical bluntness, looked less concerned and more impatient.  
            Alec could forgo the pleasantries too. “What’s the count? And why the fuck didn’t you radio in?”  
            Keegan gave him a look and then gestured towards the baby in her arms. “She wouldn’t give it up after she heard her dad on there.” Indeed, Chloe (despite being barely 9 months old) did not look as if she was letting Keegan’s radio go any time soon. “Trust me, crying baby is the last thing we want.”  
            Alec nodded, ignoring the overly enthusiastic agreeing nod from Felix. “Fair point. But I need you on the perimeter, take out as many ground troops as we can.” He held up a hand, stopping Felix’s protest. “You’re heading out there too. And I’m giving you full authorization for whatever the fuck you have up your sleeve.”  
            Felix looked up, finally interested but weary. “I assume you mean  _less_  then the hydrogen bomb?”  
            Alec glared. “No hydrogen bomb. Keep it in tactical missile range.”  
            It was obvious that Felix was disappointed. “Yeah , ok.”  
            Alec tossed him his lucky side arm. “You’re Field Commander, 496. No crazy moves unless we got nothing else.”  
            Felix snapped to attention, salute still as sharp as it had been in Manticore, “Sir.”  
            Alec waited for the two of them to disappear through the doors—Keegan leaving Chloe with Gem, her Manticore blank face marred by worry for her cub. Alec gave them both a pat on the shoulder, the most he could muster at the moment. And then he turned to Gem. “Nice call on the perimeter guards.”  
            Gem accepted the compliment with a nod, “Every scenario says that if they know how to hurt us, they’ll hit hard.”  
            “Good. Now, we’re keeping the cubs out of this, I’ll send Joshua in to help. You’re first priority is to keep the cubs safe, and if that means run for the boarder, you do it.”  
            Gem’s salute was only marred by the switching of hands on Eve, who pouted at Alec. “Yes, Sir!”  
            Alec nodded, “I’m heading out there to form command central. You got enough in here?” Gem nodded—she had probably had supplies stocked in here for months on the off chance this day would come. He was never more thankful. “Take care of my niece, ok?” he leaned down, giving Chloe a gentle kiss on the top of her head. The baby blinked up at him, reaching for his nose. Alec intercepted with a finger, which she promptly attempted to pull into her mouth. And  _damn_ , with how strong that kid was, no wonder Keegan didn’t want to fight for her radio. Alec stepped back, giving a quick thought to the wonder of genetics. Carefully, he detangled himself from the rest of the nursery kept cubs, easing himself towards the door as not to alarm them. They watched him with the eerie stillness he remembered from Manticore—even at this age, they were good soldiers. Max wouldn’t be happy.  
            Max.  
            Alec bit back a snarl and pushed open the door, stepping out into the entrance hall where the number of transgenics had doubled.  
  


__  
We don't have a choice,  
Anymore anyway.  
We don't have a voice,  
Anymore anyway.  
There's no choice in freedom.  
There's no voice in freedom.

  
  
            Emergency platoon assignments fell back to Manticore standards—they didn’t have the time to re-break it down under the circumstances. Alec used it to his advantage—he _knew_  those platoons—and quickly assigned everyone to their posts. It was becoming clear that this siege was intended to wipe them out, once and for all. He allowed himself a small smirk; the Marines had no idea who—or what—they were dealing with. He was still smiling when his radio leapt to life, informing him that the first wave of ground troops had pulled back to regroup. There was a tone to Felix’s voice, though, that caused the hair on the back of Alec’s neck to raise. He itched to be out there, to be fighting alongside his peers. But the fact remained he was the highest ranking officer currently able to command—this was long past the time when generals fought the battles with the troops. All though, right now, he half wished Brain was here.  
            A shell rocked the nursery—to the children’s credit, there was very little noise despite what he could imagine was a horrifying experience. And some of them would get worse news…that their parents…He shook his head, staring down at the map of TC and surrounding Seattle that one of the Nomalies had laid out on the receptionist’s desk. They were using  _Dungeons and Dragons_  figures to plot the movements of both sides (currently, the orcs were surrounding them on every land side, and there was a squadron of fighters that had already dropped their payload while the gnomes had a broken perimeter on the inside, their fewer numbers not a detriment). The entire thing made him want to laugh, except that it was so dangerously serious. Now, he just needed to figure out the best way to start a counter attack against those damn orcs…  
            “NO!” The scream over the radio was punctuated by an explosion that Alec could feel from his temporary desk. He knew that voice, too, the way he knew his own.  
            “Felix? FELIX!” Alec yelled into his radio. Only silence answered him. Panic stuck him—he needed to stay there, help coordinate the counter attack—It hit him. Keegan was part of the movement they had just deployed…against the Marines still outside their perimeter. As a sniper, she was also the most at risk for discovery, having to spend precious time not only immobile, but setting up her rifle. Felix—as usual—was making sure the forces they had beaten were staying on the right side of their perimeter. “Get the rest of the troops to move, NOW! I’m done with this!” Alec yelled, grabbing his fatigue over shirt and throwing it on over the rest of his gear.  
            He heard someone call something out about protocol, but Alec could care less. He needed to  _see_  what was happening to his people. And if he could, he was  _ending_  this farce.  
  


__  
We don't have a choice,  
Anymore anyway.  
We don't have a voice,  
Anymore anyway.   
We don't have a reason,  
Anymore anyway.  
We don't have control,  
Anymore anyway.  
We don't have opinions,  
Anymore anyway.

  
  
            The first thing Max was aware of was a heartbeat monitor. The constant beeping—showing her normal, healthy heartbeat—was both comforting and painful. Hearing shouldn’t be painful—  
            “Let me get that for you.” She snapped her eyes open, surprised that the voice was not Alec’s. Sitting in the chair across her room was Felix. In his arms was his daughter, Chloe. The baby was sleeping, one hand gripping Felix’s shirt. It was with an easy and almost too calm motion that he rose to his feet, and leaned just enough to hit the ‘off’ button on the heart beat monitor.  
            The silence was so much better than the beeping. “What…happened?” her voice sounded so  _wrong_.  
            Felix made a face. “You were basically in the same room as an Excalibur class missile exploded. Blew out your ear drums…amongst other things. You don’t remember?” She shook her head. He gave a sigh, adjusting Chloe in his arms. “I’ll let Alec explain. I’m glad to see you’re awake.” He offered her the barest smile, and Max just  _knew_  something was wrong.  
            “Felix?” He turned, raising his eyebrows. “Where’s Keegan? Is she ok?”  
            Felix’s entire frame tensed up, and she could have sworn she caught tears before he turned away. “I’ll go get Alec.” He said, his voice very unlike his normal one.  
            And he was true to his word, Alec appeared in her doorway faster then she had time to take in her surroundings. He was touching her face, her hair, taking her all in before she gave him a reassuring smile, and he  _beamed_  leaning in and kissing her with every ounce of passion he had. Max was thoroughly light-headed when he was done. She was pretty sure it had nothing to do with her IV. “God, Maxie! I thought you would never wake up!” He nuzzled her hair, pulling him to her in a way that felt slightly…weird.  
            …Because the last time he held her like this, he had been running for their lives, because she—“My legs!” She pushed him off, attempting to rip the covers off—  
            Only to see her feet kick out with her spaz. She glanced up at Alec, noting his vaguely amused expression. “Lymph fixed you up good, babe. Add our stem cells, and those scars will be gone in a few weeks. You’re due to start physical therapy later today.”  
            Max felt tears fall down her cheeks, and she hastily wiped them away. “What happened? Is everyone ok? Felix was—” She fell silent, watching his face shift expressions.   
            She didn’t need his pause to know everything was  _not_  ok. “I guess I can start with…we won.” He gave her a ghost of a smile. “We lost roughly four percent of our fighting forces—a miracle in itself. The US government has acquiesced our request for a cease-fire, they finally figured out that losing  _all_  your forces isn’t a battle worth winning.” He fell silent, as if mustering up the courage to say something else.  
            Max couldn’t wait. “And?”  
            Alec frowned. “Keegan…didn’t make it.”  
            The breath felt like it was knocked out of her. Keegan was the first female of the Xs to really take her in…and her being mated to Felix meant she was the Beta female in the ‘pack’ that was TC. “How?”  
            “She and Brin went in to take out tactical command. Felix had already set charges that Brin had placed. Keegan doubled back—her radio contact said there was another target approaching—and she was spotted. Cause of death was a gunshot to the back of the skull, execution style, though the ME noted that she had been shot several times—her leg was probably what got her caught…” He trailed off, looking away. “Felix blew the fuckers to kingdom come, though.”  
            “Not very comforting.” Max paused, taking it all in. “Oh god! What about Chloe?”  
            Alec wrapped an arm around her. “Gem and I are taking turns helping with her. Felix is a bit of a mess at the moment, but he’s doing fine on his own…we just don’t want him alone.”  
            “Of course not.”  
            “And he’s not the only one. We have two orphaned cubs, and several broken matings. Despite the win, it’s not exactly celebrating time around here.” He looked tired, and so sad. “I can’t keep doing this.”  
            Max looked at him, alarmed. “Are we going to?”  
            Alec gave her the first cocky smile she had seen since he came in. “Max, they annexed the entire state of  _Washington_  to avoid dealing with us. They’re evacuating humans who don’t want to live under ‘transgenic rule’ as we speak.”  
  
                                                                        ***

  
            “This is it, isn’t it?” Max asked, three days later, being rolled down the street by Alec.   
            “No, this is a street.” Felix quipped, gently picking up the stroller he was pushing in order to avoid jostling Chloe, who was, once again, sleeping.  
            Alec punched him in the shoulder. “Almost. Felix, shut up.” Felix shrugged, getting the stroller moving again.  
            Max couldn’t help herself. “This is it?”  
            She ignored Felix’s chuckle, her eyes only on Alec as she leaned back in her wheel chair. He gave her a doting smile. “Yes, it is.” It was a mansion. The previous owners had spent a great deal of time keeping their home looking as if the Pulse had never happened, and for that, for the first time, Max was glad for it. The lawn needed some cutting, and there was a broken window, but what did one expect after a four day siege just half a city away?  
            “Fully furnished?” Max chirped, excitedly.  
            “Mostly.” Felix said, before Alec could answer. “We had to swipe a tv from next door.” He looked slightly weirded out by the statement. “I  _am_  getting my own place. When  _Ale_ finally ok-s it.” He said by way of explanation.  
            Alec rolled his eyes. “Until I’m sure my niece is taken care of and spoiled rotten, you’re place is our place; my word on that.” There was much unspoken, and Felix looked away, but Max could tell the words eased some part of him.  
            “Besides, Alec says you can cook!” Max quipped, shooting Felix a bright grin.  
            To her surprise, Felix returned it, and Alec grasped her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “You are going to have things you’ve never even heard of, Peanut. Trust me, Alec complains of it enough.”  
            Alec chuckled, stepping around her wheel chair in order to open the front door. “Well, I hope you like it.” He leaned down, scooping her out of her wheel chair, and—grinning—stepped across the threshold. Behind them, Felix made a gagging noise. “Fuck off.”  
            “My Chloe’s gonna get cavities from you two!”  
            It was strange, Max realized as she thought back to days far gone, how every time she had won her freedom it had been different. The first time, she had been terrified of discovery—alone and scared in a world that she shouldn’t have run to. Because of that, she had to win her freedom again; feeling victorious and justified in burning Manticore to the ground, and not as scared as she should have been when she realized the full repercussions of her actions. This time? She felt catharsis. Too many had died—Keegan’s death would haunt them for a very long time; Chloe was her mother in miniature with Felix’s coloring—and too many had wounds, figurative and literal, that would not be healing, but they had won their freedom.  
            Earned their own place in the world, including a seat at the United Nations for their Ambassador (whom they had yet to choose), and the right to self-govern. Alec had been nothing short of merciless in his negotiations; the benefits were already showing as they were getting supplies from a number of international relief organizations from countries already recognizing Chimerica as its own nation. And it felt so different; she wondered how she had thought she had been truly free before. And, had she known the price, would she have been able to do it? Looking between Alec and Felix, watching them bicker while Chloe yawned and blinked her large eyes, she knew the answer.  
 _Yes._

 

Lyrics by Mudvayne: Choices


End file.
